Friday, May 19 2017 10:43

Giveaway: Can the Penguins of America Change a Tire Faster than a Human?

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Presented in collaboration with Little, Brown & Co

How long should it take to change a tire? In truth, that’s not an easy question to answer, as there’s variables to the equation. From type of vehicle to the tools available, the speed of changing a tire can have vast differences. One prime example is changing the tire of your daily driver. If you had a flat, you could probably change the tire in 20-30 minutes (or less), provided you had a spare, a jack, and the right wrench to remove the lugnuts. On the race track, a pit crew could change all four tires in a matter of seconds. Those are all human applications, so what about penguins? How would the PENGUINS OF AMERICA handle a tire change - particularly one on the track? In theory, the same way we would “lefty-loosey, righty-tighty."

I’ve actually changed a racing tire - in fact, I did it very recently, and under the watchful eyes of a crowd as part of a “Pit Stop Challenge” at Sonoma Raceway. A genuine pit crew would want a tire change to take no more than 5-20 seconds at absolute max. Since I’m hardly a professional, let’s just say I had some issues with the lugs… I dropped them, and they scattered. It took me and a partner 53 seconds to change one tire.


Oddly enough, I seem to have an ongoing problem with lugs in general. Have you ever heard of swollen lug nuts? It’s a condition that affects many vehicles from many automakers, especially in climates that have huge temperature swings like we have here.


Because the lugs are created by placing a chrome cap on top of a steel nut, moisture can get inside there and split them in time. While it’s not so much a safety issue, this could be a real problem should you ever get a flat. The reason? The lugs will no longer fit the wrench that comes with your spare. You’d end up stranded somewhere because of a part that costs just a few dollars - so check your lugs!

So, what does this have to do with PENGUINS, you ask?

PenguinsOfAmerica Cover

Sometimes we take life’s issues too seriously, and in the new book, PENGUINS OF AMERICA, written by James Patterson & Jack Patterson, with Florence Yue and Illustrations by James Madsen, we see these iconic birds taking the place of humans for a light-hearted send-up of real life.


And why penguins? It’s because Jack Patterson, son of author James, once told his father that he should do a book about penguins. Jack was just 5-years-old, and now 12 years later comes a collaborative effort between father and son, but one geared toward a grown-up audience.


To celebrate the release of the book, the Pattersons and Little, Brown & Co have teamed-up with The Rock Father to give you a chance to win a hardcover copy of PENGUINS OF AMERICA plus a $100 AutoZone Gift Card! You can enjoy a great book, and then pick up some supplies for your ride!

Enter to Win! Use the Rafflecopter Widget below (it will guide you), starting with the first (mandatory) entry method - Leave a Disqus comment on this post that shares your answer to the following:

QUESTION: What would you buy with $100 for your Ride?

After that, you can complete social actions for additional, completely optional entries. Please Note: By entering giveaways on The Rock Father, you agree to comply with my fairness policy.

Please Note that Twitter Default Accounts, formerly known as "Egg" accounts, are ineligible for entry.
(If you need information regarding Twitter Eggs, Google is your friend.)
a Rafflecopter giveaway

The Fine Print:

Promotion open to U.S. residents only, ages 18+, void where prohibited. One (1) Winner will be chosen at random on, about, or after June 3, 2017, and will be notified via email to confirm. If no response within 24 hours, an alternate winner will be chosen. Prizing provided and shipped by Little, Brown & Co. This is in no way sponsored, endorsed or administered by, or associated with Facebook, nor AutoZone.

1980s-style Disclaimer: Many will enter, few will win! The Rock Father is not responsible for any lost or misdirected packages. In the rare occasion that a prize does not arrive (which, sadly, has happened), you have no remedy other than moving on.

James Zahn

James Zahn is not a journalist, nor a blogger, though he may be credited as such by others, or even accept the title... depending on the circumstance.  Instead, he considers himself largely to be an "entertainment and lifestyle writer," bringing 25+ years of experience in the entertainment and publishing industries into the family realm as THE ROCK FATHER™.

As a media personality, commentator, adventurer and raconteur, James now finds himself raising a pair young girls - The Rock Daughters™ - along with his wife from their Illinois home.

He is a member of The Toy Insider Parent Advisory Board, has contributed to The Toy Book and regularly serves as a Brand Ambassador and spokesperson for several Globally-recognized pop culture and lifestyle brands in addition to consulting for a number of toy manufacturers. 

Creatively, James has directed/edited music videos, lyric videos, and album trailers for bands such as FEAR FACTORY, has appeared as an actor in feature films and commercials, written comic books, and performed in bands. He currently serves as an artist manager and video director for PRODUCT OF HATE, whose debut album was released by Napalm Records in 2016, distributed by ADA/Warner Music in the U.S. with Universal Music handling global.

James and/or his work have been featured in/on CNN, FOX Business, NBC, ABC, WGN, G4, The Chicago Tribune, BusinessWire, Babble, Fangoria, Starlog and more. He's appeared as a music expert on CNN's AC360 alongside Anderson Cooper, and has been interviewed by Larry King. In the past he served as a writer for the Netflix Stream Team,  Fandango Family and PBS KIDS, penned articles for Sprout and PopSugar, and was a contributor to Chicago Parent.

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