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5 Essentials to Survive October (Werewolf Season) in The Midwest…


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THE ROCK FATHER is sharing #TheIndisposables in his life as part of a Schick® Xtreme3® sponsored series for Socialstars. Horns up! \m/ \m/

It’s Fall, and with my favorite time of year comes some changes in habits – and, a few that are just seasonal alterations to the regular routine. Living in The Midwest, October brings a vibe that’s unlike other areas of the country during this season. While the crisp air, harvest aromas and oodles of seasonal fun can be found in many parts of the U.S., it always seems that The Midwest becomes a bit darker… and a bit spookier. There’s a good reason why so many horror movies are set in The Midwest, and right here in my home State of Illinois – they’re rooted in reality! Michael Myers? Haddonfield, Illinois. Crystal Lake? There is one. Elm Street? Lots of ’em. POLTERGEIST III, CANDYMAN and CHILD’S PLAY? All set in Illinois. You want to survive October in The Land of Lincoln? I’ll give you five essentials – but keep in mind that these are great tools to use no matter where you might roam… It’s werewolf season.

Pumpkins and Other Gourds: Fact – Illinois is the #1 pumpkin-producing state in the country. It’s probably why I’ve been pumpkin-obsessed for nearly 40 years, and since I was born in October, pumpkins and other vine-ripened gourds are among the first things that I’d ever come to know as a child. Why are pumpkins key for survival? They’re multi-purpose. You can eat them… you can use them for crafting activities… they’re fine decorations… and, when the monsters strike? You can weaponize a pumpkin. I’m not gonna tell you how, but there’s a lot of ways you can get creative. Trust me on this.

dwts wolf

DEATH WALKS THE STREETS #1: The Halloween issue of the original #DWTS (the one that has nothing to do with “Dancing”) is practically required reading around this time of year – especially here in The Midwest. I should know, because I wrote it! And, I wrote the book that preceded it – and both of them garnered some pretty good reviews in the press a few years back. The tagline really says it all: Vampires. Demons. Zombies. Werewolves. The Mob. It’s a manual for life.


Schick® Xtreme3® Refresh Razor: Have you ever seen a hairless werewolf? No? Well, let me tell you something… YES YOU HAVE. In fact, they probably smelled great, too – and you just didn’t realize it. The Schick® Xtreme3® Refresh has a refreshing scented handle for an invigorating shave – and I keep these on-hand for whenever the curse may call for it. Includes 3 blades that flex and pivot to adapt to the contours of your face (or other parts), and comfort strips with pre-shave oil and vitamin E, for a close and comfortable shave that’ll make you bark at the moon! I’ve said too much.

Black Coffee: You want to stay alert and on your game? Folgers Black Silk is as dark as the night sky, and as smooth as Dracula’s cape! I suggest making gallons of this and keeping it in a cauldron – just in-case. You could also put it in a backpack tank and wear it – kinda like those goo-shooters from GHOSTBUSTERS II.

Werewolf-shaving tunes?

Metal: I find that it’s the classics that go best with the season, and it probably has to do with the fact that a great adventure needs a triumphant soundtrack. SLAYER’s DECADE OF AGGRESSION is always a fine choice, but you know what goes great with werewolf shaving? AC/DC’s THE RAZOR’S EDGE or JUDAS PRIEST’s BRITISH STEEL!

Happy Werewolf Season!

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