Note: My wife told me last night that she’d prefer I not post this… my annual anti-Super Bowl post. But since it was already written a few days in advance, I’d hate to let it go to waste.
This Sunday, while most of America is spending the evening shouting at the TV… wait a second. I wrote this before, didn’t I? Well, yes, I sorta did, on “Super Sunday” last year. So here we are, nearly 365 days later, and SUPER BOWL XLVIII is about to kick-off, and just as I’ve done for many years prior, I will be watching – or doing – something completely unrelated to the “The Big Game.” Ah yes, “The Big Game,” the legally-enacted phrase that so many businesses use in place of “Super Bowl” thanks to the NFL’s iron-fisted restrictions on people calling the game what it actually is (seriously: Does anyone think that some crappy used car lot really has any kind of official relationship with the NFL?). But then again, I don’t like the NFL, either. Funny enough, I didn’t even know who was in this year’s Super Bowl until yesterday, and just found out where it’s happening today.
So now I’ll quote myself for a little bit of background:
“I’m not a football fan. I used to be… grew up on it, had the trading cards, etc… but by my Junior year of High School, totally distanced myself from it. Wasn’t a fan of the whole scene… the business, many of the players, or the fact that my baseball coaches always tried pushing me toward pigskin (You’re a big guy!). I hope that neither of my daughters get into it… or cheerleading. I’m happy to not fit the stereotype of men that are plopped in front of the TV every Sunday from October-February. Just not my bag. In my pre-children days, a viewing of the 1977 film BLACK SUNDAY (about a terrorist plot at the Super Bowl) was often in order as a rebuttal to the mainstream crowd.”
Rock Fact: I appeared in a 1986 Chicago Bears “Superbowl Shuffle” Parody as “Little Jimmy McMahon.” If anyone has a copy, I’d love to see it.
There’s just… something about football that can even make me dislike people that I normally like, albeit temporarily, when they’re in “football mode.” I don’t like football fans… when they’re in the moment. When the game is over and they return to being normal human beings, that’s cool. But those who become “infected” by the football plague set off an alarm in me that wants to wipe out the zombie masses. Suffice to say, it makes the ramp-up to the Super Bowl a pretty irritating time, because football is just being shoved down everyone’s throat. This year, it’s also cost me money, as I’ve turned down a few “Big Game” blogging promotions, just because I’m not cancelling out my football anger for a few bucks or some swag. I’m sure I’m into a lot of stuff that other people hate, but hopefully it’s never being thrown at those folks from all angles.
I’ll just watch Bane destroy the Gotham City Rogues’ stadium from THE DARK KNIGHT RISES again…
While I don’t like the game of football, I have no problem with the actual ball, and have even been known to throw one around in the backyard on occasion. But I still hope that my girls will take zero interest in the sport itself as they get older. May my wisdom as a father help guide them to the truth… that football is a game that fosters a culture rich in things for which I do not care.
Good thing the commercials are available for viewing online.
You Predict: Who will win? The Seattle Seahawks or the Denver Broncos? BANE? The guys from that movie WILDCATS with Goldie Hawn? Or how about the team from NECESSARY ROUGHNESS with Sinbad and Scott Bakula? Sound off below!
P.S. Do you like that “Football/Baseball” shirt that’s pictured above? Get one for yourself from my affiliate, T-Shirt Hell!