I was feelin’ kinda dirty, so I figured we’d roll around in the Hollywood sleaze together for this week’s Classic Albums pick: Cocked & Loaded by L.A. GUNS. This thing is so deliciously grimy you need a shower when it’s over.
I saw the band twice on this tour and had an absolute blast both times. Whenever I hear this record, my mind immediately goes to The Ritz in New York City and Sundance in Bay Shore — two venues sadly no longer with us, and two places where this band absolutely blew the roof off in the fall of ’89 and summer of ’90, respectively.
“Letting Go” is a quick intro that sets the tone perfectly, and then “Slap in the Face” crashes in with one of Philip Lewis’ roughest, rawest vocal performances. Right away, the band sounds dangerous, and Tracii Guns tears into the first of many incendiary solos spread across the album’s 14 tracks.
The first single, “Rip and Tear,” remains one of the best songs these guys ever wrote, and anytime I’ve ever heard it in the ensuing years, the ladies always start dancin’. Tracii’s guitar work on this track absolutely cuts glass. Then there’s “Sleazy Come Easy Go,” which is pure Sunset Strip glam/sleaze/groove/fuck rock perfection. I always loved songs about the doe-eyed kids trying to make it in the big city, succeeding, and ultimately falling from grace.
One of my all-time favorite L.A. GUNS tracks — both live and on record — is “Never Enough.” That riff is instantly recognizable, and this song was a staple everywhere back then. But the real masterpiece on Cocked & Loaded might just be “Malaria.” With an atmospheric groove that sounds like it came from the jungles of Borneo, this is a tale of one man’s fight against the Asiatic Death, Steve Riley’s drums a metronome of the beating heart, desperately clinging to life.
That brings us to side one closer, “The Ballad of Jayne.” We all know the story behind it, so there’s no need to rehash it here, but Philip Lewis absolutely nails the emotion in the vocal. It was one of those rare power ballads that connected equally hard with both the guys and the girls.
The strange bells opening “Magdalaine” kick off side two with one of the album’s faster tracks rhythmically, though the guitars remain cleaner and more restrained. On paper, that sounds odd, but it actually shows a sophistication in the songwriting that wasn’t always present on the debut.
“Give a Little” drags things right back into Sleazytown, and honestly, that’s exactly where this band shines. “I’m Addicted” gives Tracii two minutes to completely let loose on guitar before “17 Crash” indulges in my favorite form of trickeration — the verses go one way, and then awaaaay we go on the choruses!
The final stretch of “Showdown (Riot on Sunset),” “Wheels of Fire,” and “I Wanna Be Your Man” is pure Strip-rock decadence, packed with attitude, swagger, girls, fights, and all the excess you’d expect from late-’80s Hollywood, in a way that made the boys leer and the girls up for it. Not that I know from personal experience, mind you.
At the end of the day, Cocked & Loaded made being bad feel pretty damn good while also showing growth that put L.A. GUNS ahead of a lot of their peers in 1989.
For those reasons — and a thousand more — this one belongs in the Classic Albums vault forever.
—THE MAESTRO
Looking for official merch from your favorite bands and artists? Check out the Amazon Music Artist Merch Shop for officially licensed apparel and gear from nearly 500 acts!
