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Updated four years later (2017): I dig Kidz Bop now. Opinions change drastically.

Here we go again…

Last December, I published a piece here on The Rock Father entitled KIDZ BOP 23: For Parents that Don’t Like Children or Music, timed ahead of the January release of the abomination known as KIDZ BOP 23. Little did I know that the folks at Razor & Tie had quickly returned to the laboratory to begin assembling what just might be their most sinister collection yet, KIDZ BOP 24. Released last month, it’s existence had somehow managed to evade my musical radar until nefarious forces placed the following song in front of me last night…

The KIDZ BOP version of “Thrift Shop” by Mackelmore and Ryan Lewis featuring Wanz:

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But it gets even worse…

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Yes, true believers… the “Kidz Bop Kids” and their Masters have dropped another, 16-track sonic bomb upon the brainwashed masses (after all, someone is buying this stuff and propelling it up the Billboard Top 200 Charts)….

The Offenses:

1. “Thrift Shop” (Macklemore & Ryan Lewis featuring Wanz)
2. “I Knew You Were Trouble” (Taylor Swift)
3. “Suit & Tie”(Justin Timberlake featuring Jay Z)
4. “Beauty and a Beat”(Justin Bieber featuring Nicki Minaj)
5. “Ho Hey” (The Lumineers)
6. “Come & Get It” (Selena Gomez)
7. “Feel This Moment” (Pitbull featuring Christina Aguilera)
8. “Scream & Shout”(will.i.am featuring Britney Spears)
9. “Girl on Fire” (Alicia Keys)
10. “I Love It” (Icona Pop featuring Charli XCX)
11. “Can’t Hold Us” (Macklemore & Ryan Lewis featuring Ray Dalton)
12. “Heart Attack” (Demi Lovato)
13. “Mirrors”(Justin Timberlake)
14. “22” (Taylor Swift)
15. “Just Give Me a Reason” (Pink featuring Nate Ruess)
16. “Don’t Stop the Party” (Pitbull featuring TJR)

A “Deluxe Edition” is also available through iTunes, subjecting listeners to additional torture through covers of Baauer’s “Harlem Shake,” a video for Icona Pop’s “I Love It,” and more. Once again, if you absolutely, positively must-have KIDZ BOP 24, please purchase it through one of the links that I’ve included so that I can at least make a small profit from your poor taste and lack of judgement, just as Razor & Tie makes a massive one.

kidsincSo you want some good music to share with your kids? Looking for hip-hop? Check out Secret Agent 23 Skidoo. A little bit of that similar funk with a bit of pop-rock flavor tossed in? Try Mista Cookie Jar and the Chocolate Chips. Punk Rock? The Boogers. Folksy rock? Poochamungas. Alternative Rock? The Not-Its, Caspar BabypantsRecess Monkey or Justin Roberts. Music for Princesses? Moey’s Music Party. There’s music out there for every occasion, and it doesn’t have to involve repackaged, sub-par covers. Somewhere, I still have a copy of a KIDS INCORPORATED album that was released way back in 1984 (nearly 30 years ago!)… now there’s a group of kids that could pull off a decent cover song.

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My wife wants to know how my opinion will change on the KIDZ BOP series by the time my girls are in the 7-8 range. I say it won’t change at all. 

–Old Crankypants aka The Rock Father

Kidz Bop 24

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